This is Jeff, the emo guitar. Jeff has no last name. Jeff has gone through a lot; He's been carved on, broke, glued poorly back together, carved on again, ripped apart, glued satisfactorily back together, carved on again, burnt, and carved on again.
Jeff has been played by many musically talentless missionaries, and carved on by perhaps even more. Jeff's selfless sacrifice has allowed many an Elder to vent their sadness, frustration and anger over ex-girlfriends on him, preventing them from slitting their own emo-wrists. Names, places, insults, wedding dates and much more have been permanently graven onto Jeff's glorious wooden surface.
I wish I could claim that the design of Jeff was my idea, but I cannot. Josh Walton, currently stuck in Magic Kinland, came up with and owns Jeff. He asked me to take the guitar home for him, and only for this reason have I been entrusted with his care.
A final note: if the human Jeff ever reads this, just know that you are seriously disliked by a very large number of spanish-speaking men.
Rock on.
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